The reason why

by - Sunday, March 30, 2014

I am not someone that talks about stuff so personal online but... Things had gotten on my nerves so bad that I think it is time I start addressing on this issue. I have never once feel that I should ever explain anything that goes on in my life or decisions I make to anybody at all. Because I truly feel that it is my life, and nobody should be brainwashing me about how my life should be led. I mean, everyone lives differently, no?

And lately, I had been receiving so many questions about my recent break-up it is starting to piss me off. You have to know that I do not have to answer to anybody about who I want to be with. Regardless how long that relationship was, and how "nice" that guy WAS. I wish to emphasize on the past tense I've used in my previous sentence.

We all know there's 3 phases to a relationship. The "Honeymoon", the "I'm getting used to you", and then the "It's time you GTFO of my life" phase. I honestly do not want to harp on this anymore, because I thought as long as I ignore, things would eventually die down, and people will stop talking about it. BUT NOOOOOOOO. Just no! Some people just have to, have to, have to keep asking me questions on my asking me about him, and commenting about how I am such a bitch to be ditching such a nice guy like him.

Before I answer anything, I have one question for you. What do you know?!


I've always thought a relationship is about 2 people. Just you, and that special someone. When did it start to become an issue to everybody around us?! Not like we're affecting you with our relationship(?!)

First thing first, HE is NOT the kind of angel you think he is.

Guys, I wish you will carve this in your mind if you are reading.

No boyfriend should EVER talk shit about their girlfriend to anybody.
You just don't.

Not to your friends, not to her friends, or especially, not to your mutual friends and family!
You just don't! If you feel that you have a need to BITCH about your girlfriend, then it is obviously time to break up. If you don't want to break up, then don't go around bitching about your girlfriend! You are asking for it, so don't complain!

To make things worse, your friends give you advices and you refuse to listen. Since you refuse to listen, then stop bitching to them. Why are you making everyone annoyed at you, and indirectly annoyed at the girl when it isn't even her fault?

It's perfectly fine if you have an ongoing issue and you need to solve it but have no idea how to, so you turn to your friends. But it is TOTALLY NOT FINE if you disagree with your girlfriend, so you start bitching about her with things that are TOTALLY NOT TRUE.

In case I am not being straight forward enough... Basically, to put things in a really ugly and straightforward manner, I got backstabbed by my own boyfriend 3 times and he refuse to repent even after apologising and begging me to forgive him. Tell me why should I continue being with someone who make things ugly for me every single time?

Like making me the bad guy isn't bad enough, I also have to deal with sibling that is malevolent towards me every now and then because of some really childish reason. Can you imagine the kind of emotional stress I'll have to handle being dominated by perfect strangers just because they are his family?

I've dated guys with siblings who are really really nice. And she (I'll call her N) too, is in the same industry with that perfect stranger. To be honest, I really respect and look up to N. And I still do. She's drop-dead gorgeous and mature, and she is ultra nice to me. She has never once make me feel awkward being part of their family back when I was dating her brother. So I don't get why the latter cannot do the same. But then again, maturity is not determined by the things you do.

I am usually very low profile about my relationships, and I don't like to post my problems on the internet. Just in case you have already misunderstood the situation, the break-up occurred back in September 2013. I did not want to make things ugly for both of us, thus why I didn't publicize it. So no, it is not fast that I'm with Ryan now. I did not start going out with Ryan immediately after my break-up.

I also did not steal my best friend's boyfriend.
They were not dating, he wasn't interested, she got the wrong idea.

And I also did not dump him because he was "poor, ugly, and uneducated". I could easily summarize everything about him up to the fact that he was useless, but no, that's just mean.
Nobody's ever useless. People just take different amount of time to grow up and find their dreams.
So stop saying that, because it is not nice.

Ryan also did not steal his "brother's" girlfriend.
As I've mentioned, the break-up occurred more than half a year back. We started going out in early January 2014. How is that stealing? And I don't get all the hoo-haa about him dating his friend's ex-girlfriend. It's an ex for a reason.

I honestly have no idea where did you people hear all these nonsense from. So I assume you guys might not be as anonymous as you seem after all. Friends do not doubt one another. For you to be asking me anonymously, I believe you don't consider me a friend anymore.
I'm prepared to lose everything the moment I made things official. I do not understand why am I the one being left alone here right now, having to be bugged by people who are totally clueless about everything, that also supports him with only knowing one side of the story. Especially after most of you have learnt the truth about him.

And things had been over for quite a while already, why are you still so curious? He might probably still be bitc... okay don't speculate. But, pardon my straightforward-ness, it has totally nothing to do with you right...?

You may use to think we are cute together and all, and ship us together like some kind of idol drama, but it's all in the past! Do me a favour and stop asking me anything about him anymore, ok? I really do not wish to be reminded of all the bad times and torture I lived through for the past 2 years.

Not saying there isn't any good times. But has it ever occur to you that the bad times are sooooooooooooo bad it erased off all the good times in your memory? Even looking at photos doesn't remind you of anything good? And constantly asking me why is just adding on to the reminder of how bad that relationship was. C'mon, be nice, let me have some good time to reminisce.

Some of you also asked why am I always out alone, I guess from what I've written above, you can more or less understand the situation I am in right now. I am probably too bitchy to deserve friends. And the kind of friends I had/I met only bother to make use of my talents for their benefits and then disappears right after I'm done helping them. It has always been that way.
To be honest, I am generally a really nice friend and person to be with until you start showing all your nonsense to me. I am a really really competitive person. So the moment you start showing signs of you being jealous or envying what I have, and try to claim whatever that belongs to me, I will start being nasty with you and tackle you back with the kind of nonsense you are showing me. I wouldn't deny I actually kick people out of my life without giving second chances for quite a lot of times because they wanted to steal things away from me. I would share, but that's only if you ask.

It's been 3 months now, I really hope you all to put all the past behind and not talk about it anymore. I haven't answer any questions regarding this on my and I never will. That has already caused a pretty bad damage to me and Ryan's relationship because of the fact that we all used to be friends and that family hasn't been too nice to the both of me and Ryan after the break-up. It was so bad we actually received phone calls that scolded us with terms like 'adulterous dogs', 'bastard', 'son of a bitch' and a lot more really nasty stuff. I don't even know what did we do to deserve such treatment.

So please, have mercy on me. Spare me the questions, and I hope you'll understand.
Thank you, xo.

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