Why?Monday, August 27, 2012
Have you ever felt so piss you'd wish you could eliminate that particular someone off the globe? Okay, maybe not piss. But so frustrated you wish you could just go home, sleep and ignore every single person that's alive. Sometimes things get me so frustrated I really wish I could just flare up like a spoilt princess and get everyone to go my way. But, no. In reality, you don't get to do those stuff. Even if you do, you'd get hates instead.
Honestly, some times I'll sit by myself and do some self-reflection. I know I'm not some kind of like-able figure. I'm never the center of attraction or attention or being adorable, pretty, smart or talented. I know I sound like some kind of famewhore now. But I don't get why I always get isolated or outcasted all the time.
When you outcast someone, it usually means you dislike that person isn't it?
I mean, it's totally okay if you don't get along with me, don't hang out with me, or whatsoever. But you just don't simply hate on someone you barely even know. It happens so often I'd always question myself, whether is it me, or is it just them. Even back in my secondary school days, I don't have much friends. I'd always appear to be that cool loner that doesn't need company at all. But we are all just human. I have feelings too(?)
And now I sound like I'm desperately craving for attention. That's not what I'm about. It's just that, even if you hate on me, you don't have to make it that obvious.
I may appear to be some confident girl that is always in the center of attention, but no.
I get demoralize and self-conscious too. And eyes like that no doubt affects me. It gets me insecure and sensitive about myself, and makes me wonder if I've done anything wrong to get that kind of treatment.
I guess we all get self-conscious once in a while. We can't please everyone that's alive. There bound to have hater who gets jealous of you and start spreading childish rumours all over.
And right now, I've realize how hypocritical people can get. They try to be nice to you and all, and start backstabbing behind your back. Honestly, I could very well just ignore and don't give a hoot about anything that's going on. But I don't want to appear anti-social so I'm trying to be real cool about everything.
But well. We don't live to please.
So ... Forget it.
Now guys, I'm just random ranting because I need somewhere to let out this piece of mind before I explode like a balloon. So don't hate on me. And no ill-intention. Im not trying to bash on anybody here, so....good day!