It's been a while!

by - Monday, March 19, 2018

2 months since my last update, which wasn't exactly an update either since it was yknow..... an advertorial. HAHA. I am so sorry guise. I've been so busy with school I really have no time to do updates on my blogs or attend events even. It is to a point my bank balance had fell to a new low because I don't even have the time to work. I even had to quit my part-time job promoting this payment application because my time isn't as flexible as their schedule(what.). Okay actually their schedule isn't flexible enough for me. I got striked for asking to change a shift because I had a last minute meeting scheduled in between & the HR simply scolded me telling me no more next time. Like what the fuck, when they were recruiting, they promoted themselves as a flexible company that allows you to chose your own shifts??? And we can easily change our shifts if we are unable to make it, just got to inform the person in charge, and guess what! Bitch striked me off because she was lazy to change the schedule, she blamed it on me not informing her earlier. Wahlau, they don't even inform us of our shifts 1 week in advanced bawls. We are only aware of our schedules the day before we start working. Well, not so flexible after all.

Anyway, back to what I was saying. I've been terribly busy lately trying to sort my life out. Yknow all the quarter-age crisis kind of thing.... Looking for a job, preparing for a grad trip, trying to graduate and writing my dissertation, still earning all while I am doing these because my bank is dry like the Sahara desert and I literally can't even head out of the house anymore because I am too poor to top up my ez-link card, and I still need to graduate. Really makes me wonder why did I chose to continue my degree. I should have kept up the entire -FUCK NO- attitude, really just fucked it, and continue working.

Aiya, too late for regrets. Moving on!

I am finally, finally, finally, approaching graduation. I can smell it!! Submission in just 1 week's time and I am free!! I can't believe I made it here. Looking back at my first year in film school when I got exempted and crash their 2nd year, I honestly thought I would have just dropped out because my classmates were a bunch of immature shitheads who can't stop ganging on people. And then they are all quiet like a mouse when seen alone. I am at least half a decade older than most of the kids in class, it was so difficult for me to communicate with them. I could really feel the generation gap between us, ugh.

Thank goodness regardless, I am so close to freeing myself from these toxic bunch of kids. This also means I will be more active with my blog again!! Yayyyyy!! Okay la, not like my life is very interesting also lol. I know some of you still return to check on my stuff, but you always go off in disappointment because you don't see me updating anymore. Truth be told, i've been facing some identity crisis lately. I don't know who am I anymore, what are my dreams and why am I even doing what I am doing. It feels so hard to get myself started on work, or even looking for a job of the same industry that I am majoring in. It feels even harder to look at myself in the mirror and feel beautiful again because I've grown so fat, most of my pants become a bikini when I wear it.

I hope in time to come I will get back to normal and start slimming down again. Feel beautiful and good about myself. Maybe cause I am fat, short and poor, that's why i'm feeling so demoralized LOL. I will be fine soon as long as I graduate and start earning money, ok. Give me a bit more time, I will be active with my updates again. Thank you for staying around even though I've been missing a lot. Sweet feedbacks and comments really encourage me to write some more, love y'all.

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